Deceitful, Deceitful, Deceitful
“I had a great time tonight,” she told him with a warm smile.
He also smiled, but not as wide as hers. “I did too.” His grin began to falter. “But I have to tell you something…”
She grew worried as she heard the tone of his voice. “It’s not going to be something I like… Is it?”
He had a small smile. She always knew what was on his mind. “No, it’s not…”
She pursed her lips. “Well, shoot.” How bad could it be? It wasn’t until she thought that she thought of the worse thing that could happen.
He grew nervous and simply blurted out. “We have to break up.”
Her fears were correct, and she wondered. “Why? I thought we had something good. Was that why you spoiled me so much today?”
He nodded. So she knew what he was doing. “Yeah…” There was a pause. “And we did have something good. But… I just couldn’t lie to myself anymore… I didn’t want to keep lying to you.”
She grew confused. What did he mean? “Do you not love me?” It hurt just to even say it. Was he playing her the whole time?
He was taken aback. “No, I do, but… Just not romantically…” he trailed off.
“What does that even mean?” She grew even more confused, but in the back of her mind she had a slight clue.
He took a deep breath. It was now is never. “I’m gay.” He saw the look on her face, and he quickly spoke out, “I know it’s messed up that I led you on, I thought that it’d be easier if I just settled for a girl. But I can’t keep living a lie, when I know the lie was going to hurt you.”
She was shocked, and angry. “Did you even think about my feelings? You led me on this whole time thinking that this was it. That I had all I needed to live. You know how devastating it is find out that all of it was a lie?” her voice was raised with frustration and bitterness.
He earned that. There was no excuse for what he did. His voice was small, but she clearly hard the sincerity in it. “That’s why I’m telling you now. I didn’t want to tell you when it’ll be too late. I don’t want you to be the one left at the alter because of my lies. I don’t want to get a divorce because we’ve always known it wouldn’t work.”
She became calm, still angry, but calm. “You really thought it through didn’t you?” He nodded. She key go some of her anger, but sadness took over. “I was really happy, you know?”
“I know…” He just looked at her with soft eyes. He had become whatever she needed to make her the happiest girl in the world. Her friends were jealous of her because of how he treated her. They would compare their boyfriends to him and wondered what was so different. The truth was… It was because he really tried. Tried to make it seem that he was also in love with her. Tried to live a lie.
“But you weren’t happy…” She concluded. She looked into his eyes and found her answer. He must have been suffering with them dating. He couldn’t be true to himself while he was with her. She felt guilty. She thought that he was there because he was happy but it was the total opposite. He was miserable dating her. She became angry again., but not at him, no, but at the world, at society. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” He was the one to grow confused this time. “We could’ve been such best friends!”
And at that he smiled. She had always wanted what was best for him. Even if she didn’t know, she always tried which made him glad. “Who says we still can’t be friends?”
She glared at him, but he still had his smile. “You could’ve just told me. I wouldn’t judge.”
“I just…” He sighed. When they were first getting to know each other, he found out that she was someone he could trust with his secret, but he already had a plan. He was looking down, not wanting to look at her when he confessed. “I just thought that it would be easier being straight and not let anyone have the idea that I might be gay… but that was wrong of me… I’m sorry that I deceived you.” He looked up at her with hopeful eyes. “Can we still be friends?
Her anger at society was still seething. But at least she’s happy that he’s starting to become true to himself. “Of course we can. Didn’t I say that we would be best friends?” He chuckled at her response. She was really such an amazing person, and he hoped she would find someone that would love her like he could never have done.
Now that him being gay was out in the open. She had so much more to talk about. But first thing’s first. Her lips curved into a devious smirk. “Did you like anybody while you were with me?”
His face grew red as it became flushed. He was glad that she more than okay with it, but it was just too sudden. He just croaked out a nervous, “maybe,” before she laughed and grabbed his arm, making their way her home.
He also smiled, but not as wide as hers. “I did too.” His grin began to falter. “But I have to tell you something…”
She grew worried as she heard the tone of his voice. “It’s not going to be something I like… Is it?”
He had a small smile. She always knew what was on his mind. “No, it’s not…”
She pursed her lips. “Well, shoot.” How bad could it be? It wasn’t until she thought that she thought of the worse thing that could happen.
He grew nervous and simply blurted out. “We have to break up.”
Her fears were correct, and she wondered. “Why? I thought we had something good. Was that why you spoiled me so much today?”
He nodded. So she knew what he was doing. “Yeah…” There was a pause. “And we did have something good. But… I just couldn’t lie to myself anymore… I didn’t want to keep lying to you.”
She grew confused. What did he mean? “Do you not love me?” It hurt just to even say it. Was he playing her the whole time?
He was taken aback. “No, I do, but… Just not romantically…” he trailed off.
“What does that even mean?” She grew even more confused, but in the back of her mind she had a slight clue.
He took a deep breath. It was now is never. “I’m gay.” He saw the look on her face, and he quickly spoke out, “I know it’s messed up that I led you on, I thought that it’d be easier if I just settled for a girl. But I can’t keep living a lie, when I know the lie was going to hurt you.”
She was shocked, and angry. “Did you even think about my feelings? You led me on this whole time thinking that this was it. That I had all I needed to live. You know how devastating it is find out that all of it was a lie?” her voice was raised with frustration and bitterness.
He earned that. There was no excuse for what he did. His voice was small, but she clearly hard the sincerity in it. “That’s why I’m telling you now. I didn’t want to tell you when it’ll be too late. I don’t want you to be the one left at the alter because of my lies. I don’t want to get a divorce because we’ve always known it wouldn’t work.”
She became calm, still angry, but calm. “You really thought it through didn’t you?” He nodded. She key go some of her anger, but sadness took over. “I was really happy, you know?”
“I know…” He just looked at her with soft eyes. He had become whatever she needed to make her the happiest girl in the world. Her friends were jealous of her because of how he treated her. They would compare their boyfriends to him and wondered what was so different. The truth was… It was because he really tried. Tried to make it seem that he was also in love with her. Tried to live a lie.
“But you weren’t happy…” She concluded. She looked into his eyes and found her answer. He must have been suffering with them dating. He couldn’t be true to himself while he was with her. She felt guilty. She thought that he was there because he was happy but it was the total opposite. He was miserable dating her. She became angry again., but not at him, no, but at the world, at society. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” He was the one to grow confused this time. “We could’ve been such best friends!”
And at that he smiled. She had always wanted what was best for him. Even if she didn’t know, she always tried which made him glad. “Who says we still can’t be friends?”
She glared at him, but he still had his smile. “You could’ve just told me. I wouldn’t judge.”
“I just…” He sighed. When they were first getting to know each other, he found out that she was someone he could trust with his secret, but he already had a plan. He was looking down, not wanting to look at her when he confessed. “I just thought that it would be easier being straight and not let anyone have the idea that I might be gay… but that was wrong of me… I’m sorry that I deceived you.” He looked up at her with hopeful eyes. “Can we still be friends?
Her anger at society was still seething. But at least she’s happy that he’s starting to become true to himself. “Of course we can. Didn’t I say that we would be best friends?” He chuckled at her response. She was really such an amazing person, and he hoped she would find someone that would love her like he could never have done.
Now that him being gay was out in the open. She had so much more to talk about. But first thing’s first. Her lips curved into a devious smirk. “Did you like anybody while you were with me?”
His face grew red as it became flushed. He was glad that she more than okay with it, but it was just too sudden. He just croaked out a nervous, “maybe,” before she laughed and grabbed his arm, making their way her home.
~*~
Originally Published: October 5, 2016
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